Dear diary,

On June 19th my sister had her 18th birthday.Her name is Natasha or that's how I called her in Russia when we were little.I haven't seen here sinse the year 1996 or 97,she got adopted by an American family.They live in South Carolina but that's all I know of here where abouts.I miss here very much and hope that one day god with point me in the right direction towards her......I had many dreams with her in them,in them I finally found here,I was so happy that I cried but when I wake up I just feel this little piece of me missing.She is my blood,my family and I love her very much and I just want to say I'm very sorry for everything that I did and didn't do for you back then.......I hope you find it in my heart to forgive me little sister.

I just wanted to write this on here in case she has an acount here so she may read this .........If you know a Natasha that was adopted from Saratov,Russia.........I would be very happy to talk to you.......Thank you.

Dear  diary,

Today I did abit of cleaning at my house,it still needs lots of work though.My cat won't stop meowing when I'm gone,I know hes old but come on I can't be there for him 24/7.Today I watched Ghost in the Shell 3 it was pretty good.Nothing happened to me this past six months nothing important,so I'm still stuck in the house but I'm planing to go to grandmas for a week so I'll have peace and quiet(reading all the books that I want).I think our dogs are so bored with nothing to do I don't blame them.One morning I woke up and I swear I felt my russian mother in my room,I turned in my sleep and called for her but when I woke up there was no one there.Is it possible that my mom died?With all the drinking and smoking she did .......I don't know.I wish I could astral project to Saratov,Ru and see whats happening to everybody there.I just saw the Green Man,blessed be Green Man.

Anna's art

I drew this picture not long ago,listening to nice peaceful music and I let my mind free.

Just thinking about how much time time really have to do all this things that I want to do is amaising.But of course if I start something I quit very quickly.I want to learn Japanese,relearn Russian,work on my wicca,read many books(which I'm still doing).Once I start working I won't have any time at all because I'm going to work full time untill I get my own place and go to college(my mom and dad aren't going to pay for it and I don't want them to.I've been stressing all this time and for what????I'm starting yoga today and I exercise everyday and do meditation at night so that lets me work out some of the kinks out of me.I love art but I don't have anyone to show it off to ,I need to go to a art class and also I want to go to acting classes(one of my dreams is acting).

Beltane is coming very soon so I'll have to prepare.I'll have to look for the right deity for my altar....

The Sabbats: Beltane

Beltane is a fertility festival, concerned with Nature enchantments and offerings to wildlings and Elementals. The return of full-blown fertility is now very evident. The powers of elves and fairies are growing and will reach their height at the Summer Solstice.

Beltane, most commonly pronounced "BELL-tayn", but also can be "BEEL-teen", "BEEL-tawn-uh", or "B'YAL-tinn", is one of the Greater Pagan Sabbats and is usually celebrated on May 1st. In the Celtic tradition it is celebrated on May 1st or the first Full Moon in Taurus. The Scottish tradition of PectiWita celebrate their Sabbat on May 15th.

Other names used for this Sabbat are Bealtaine (Irish Wittan), Whitsun or Old Bhealltainn (Scottish PectiWita), Bealtinne (Caledonii or the Druids), Samhradh and La Baal Tinne (Faery Wicca), Roodmas, Rudemas (Mexican Craft), Walburga (Teutonic), Walpurgisnacht (German), Walpurgis Eve, Celtic Summer, Giamonios, Tana's Day - La Giornata di Tana (Aridian Strega), Floralia, The Great Rite, May Day, and May Eve. It is also known as Cetshamain in Ireland, and is one of the few specifically Irish festivals.

Beltane is the time of year when we celebrate new life, fertility and the earth's ripe abundance in all its forms. It is a time of pure joy, bliss, and playfulness.

For many, crops are planted and animals bred. As Pagans we honor the divine union of the God and Goddess, and the consummation of that marriage which we believe symbolically fertilizes our crops, our animals, and ourselves. It is also a time of beginnings, the beginnings of many new projects.

I got this from The Pagan Web.......

Have you ever seen a two headed lizard??? Well heres your chance,enjoy...

Two headed lizard

This morning I desided to go outside with my dog working out,we lasted about twenty minutes at most.Is that pathetic or what?This four dogs need alot of exercise in order to be healthy but my family keeps feeding them junk food and they wonder why they're  getting fat.I'm going to keep going with exercising with my dog,someone has to start it.Plus it's very nice outside at seven o'clock and you should see the outside at night over here,you hear this noises of birds and all these bugs it's kinda cool,very mistical.

A late night challenge: Show us a photo of the full moon.

This is from last night

Have you ever been skinny dipping?

No but love to try it.

Another thing I think is kinda crazy is the Wii exersizing game.What the f*** the next thing you'll know there is a robot doing the workouts for you.I mean it is very cool and something new but I thought it isn't very good to play videos games to long,you won't start burning any calories after thirty minutes.Well thats my opinion so there.Just make sure you eat plenty of carrots,lol.

That is So stupid,how can I get my Art and my pictures on the internet?The only place I can do it is on my dads computer and my brothers but he won't let anyone go on the internet.I think everyone should be able to go on there because he isn't the one paying for the internet,my parents are.I guess I should ask my dad if I couold upload my pictures on the computer but I already know the answer.I delete the pictures and it's not like I'm putting my naked pics on there.So whats the problem?The internet is my doorway to the outside world.